Considerate Neighbor With Binoculars Pleased To Report Carpet Matches Curtains
A neighbor, driven by binoculars and determination, confirms his community’s interior decor…
Kids’ Brownie Stand Outside Weed Shop Has Pulled In $1,400 In Three Hours, Mostly From Same Six Guys
Kids earn $1,400 in a few hours selling brownies outside a cannabis…
Mom Sending Middle Finger Emojis To Family Group Chat Fully Aware Of What They Mean
An NJ mom using middle finger emojis stuns family’s group chat, reflecting…
Man Caught Picking Nose Just Glad No One Noticed He Was Also Masturbating
Harold Pickens was caught nose-picking, distracting from his simultaneous public masturbation, illuminating…
SF Home Seller Accepts 47 Shares Of Anthropic, $3M Cash, And Permission To Keep The Bathroom Cameras Running
Couple outbids by $200,000 for a house, unfazed by a “crawl space…
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Turns Out There Are Better Places To Wear Your Oura Ring Than Around Your Penis
John Periwinkle gets a slight limp after wearing an Apple…
Gary Charging $400 To Bury Pets In His Front Lawn, No Questions Asked
Suburban homeowners monetize lawns as cemeteries with “Rest in Prosperity”…
Affluent Couple Speeding Through Wine Country Yells At Sober Drivers To Get Off The Fucking Road
Wealthy couple views drunk driving as trivial in wine country,…
Man Finally Has The Headspace On Tulum Vacation To Finish His Ransom Note
Man uses vacation in Tulum to finally complete his long-delayed…
Tired Host Lights Cat-Piss Candle, Hopes Guests Take The Hint
Hosts’ candle releases cat urine scent mid-party; manufacturer calls it…
400 Million Sperm Melt Unnoticed Into Ron’s Drink At Fertility Clinic Holiday Party
Holiday mishap at fertility clinic party leads to melted futures…
Orthodontist Maintains Intense Eye Contact As Patient Bites Down
Orthodontist Gregory Lance’s obsession with dental perfection fuels a bizarre…
New Fleet Of Natural Gas Buses Reduces Emissions 40%, Increases Citywide Fart Smell By 100%
City’s natural gas buses cut emissions by 40%, inadvertently doubling…
Study: Despite Everything, “Caulk” Still Funniest Word At Home Depot
A study finds Home Depot shoppers persistently find “caulk” the…
Defendant’s Character Witness Opens With “Okay So First Of All, He Wasn’t Even The Worst One Of Us”
A character witness defends a defendant’s moral standing by ranking…
Man Hasn’t Had Sex In 90 Days, Now Visibly Affected By Subway Bread Commercials
A man hasn’t had sex in 90 days and is…
Song That “Speaks To Your Soul” Was Written In 40 Minutes For A Tampon Commercial
A song that captures souls was actually created for a…
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