Couple’s Long Romantic Goodbye At Airport Not Appropriate For All Viewers
A drawn-out couple’s farewell at an airport traumatizes onlookers, prompting new emotional…
Congressman Nails CEO With Zinger Rehearsed In Car, Adjourns
A four-term congressman workshops one devastating line in a parking garage, deploys…
Children’s Urine Bringing Nice Yellow Hue To Spring’s Roses
Children unknowingly transform roses with urine, saving city money on fertilizers and…
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Premature Man Burns More Calories Brushing Teeth Than Having Sex
Reports indicate sex’s calorie burn is void if a condom…
Man With Finely Shaved Balls Wasted Morning As Doctor Didn’t Check For Hernia
Man meticulously shaves, hospital doesn’t bother checking hernia, illustrating healthcare’s…
Confused Racist Not Taking Any Chances, Adds Zebras To His Hate List
Confused bigot Gerald Huckins justifies his new disdain for zebras,…
HHS Announces $2.3B Study Investigating Whether Tylenol Can Lower Ocean Temperatures
The world’s largest Tylenol tablet is unveiled to combat climate…
Beach Remains Best Place To Step Barefoot On Something Regrettably Sharp And Wet
Bureau stats confirm beaches are top spots for sharp, wet…
Breaking: Shitty Kid Does The Exact Opposite Of What You Just Asked
Timmy Henderson, notorious for transforming simple instructions into elaborate acts…
Hotel Offers “Sleep Longer” Promotion In Their Carbon Monoxide Suite
A hotel in Ohio promotes endless sleep in their carbon…
Man Finds Bicycle Seat Awkwardly Delightful
Derek Mulligan finds unexpected joy in bicycle discomfort, sparking curiosity…
Drunk Homeless Man Begins 12th Year Of Residency On Las Vegas Blvd
A homeless man is honored for living 12 years on…
Houseguest Leaves Confusing Wake Of Stiff Wash Towels
A perplexed family grapples with guest Howard Drummond’s baffling legacy…
Man’s Sympathy Baby Weight Gain Still Going Strong 20 Years Later
Man maintains sympathy baby weight for 20 years, gaining notoriety…
Abstinent Couple Awkwardly Eating All The Appetizers At Orgy
An abstinent couple mistakenly attends an orgy, diligently eating 100%…
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