Lifetime-Guarantee Frying Pan Outlives Owner, Sells For $3 At Estate Sale
A 1979 warranty promised the pan would last a lifetime, and it…
Wearable Says Biological Age 31, Prostate Says Nice Try
Satire & Parody NoticeFried Ocean is a work of satire and news…
Eleven Minutes Of Weightlessness Cures Billionaire Of Nothing
A logistics billionaire submits to a full post-flight inventory of everything the…
The news you actually want to read.
Free. Weekly. Slightly irresponsible.
HOA Fence-Height Hearing Enters Fourth Hour Of Nazi Comparisons
The fence is six inches too tall, and by hour…
Man Makes Third Installment Payment On Burrito He Shat Out In August
A local man on honoring a four-payment financing agreement for…
Finance Influencer’s Nine Income Streams All Flow From Men Who Have None
Nine tabs, nine colors, nine revenue lines — and not…
Woman Rinses Yogurt Cup 40 Seconds Before Waste Management Ships It 8,000 Miles To Malaysia
The cup arrived in Port Klang in excellent condition, officials…
Pharma Ad Rushes In Third Golden Retriever To Distract From Rectal Bleeding Warning
On Soundstage 4, a third golden retriever waits in the…
Pastor Reports Congregation’s Seed Money Has Fully Blossomed Into Gulfstream
A megachurch pastor explains, from a folding pulpit on the…
AI Companies Solve Safety Concerns By Making Regulator A Shareholder
Industry hails historic breakthrough after granting the nation’s top AI…
Couple Quietly Relieved To Cancel Scheduled 8:15 Sex Due To Costco Run
The 8:15 appointment was voided at 6:52 p.m. when the…
Twenty-Year Friendship Now Just Six Men Thumbs-Upping Reels Until One Dies
Six men who once shared apartments and 3 a.m. phone…
Man Copy-Pasting Between Claude And ChatGPT Realizes He Is Middleware
After eleven consecutive handoffs between two chatbots, an Austin claims…
Unlimited PTO Enters Third Year With Nobody Brave Enough To Test It
The company gave everyone infinite vacation days, and the staff…
Man Down $40,000 On Election Odds Reassures Friends He Can’t Lose
After his third consecutive collapse, a local man walked five…
Something went wrong. Please refresh the page and/or try again.