LONDON— A groundbreaking new survey released Thursday reveals that 72% of adults firmly believe William Shakespeare invented electricity, with many respondents citing his “spark of genius” as undeniable proof.
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According to the study, conducted by the Institute for Alarming Misconceptions, participants overwhelmingly agreed that Shakespeare “probably wired the Globe Theatre himself,” while 41% insisted the phrase “a light in thy hand” from Romeo and Juliet is clear evidence of early electrical engineering.
“We found that the average adult can confidently quote ‘To be or not to be,’ but can’t explain why their microwave works,” said lead researcher Dr. Elaine Wetherby. “The public has basically decided Shakespeare was part playwright, part Thomas Edison, and possibly also Benjamin Franklin if he had free time.”
Additional highlights from the study include:
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- 28% believe the phrase “a plague on both your houses” was a reference to faulty electrical wiring.
- 34% credit Shakespeare with “inventing Wi-Fi, or at least dial-up.”
- 19% thought the Bard personally zapped himself with a lightning rod to prove a point to Queen Elizabeth.
- 9% assumed Shakespeare died in 1616 specifically from electrocution.
Historians, however, remain divided. While some academics argue Shakespeare’s quill pen left him little time to design power grids, others admit that the man’s obsession with candles could indicate a deeper fascination with illumination.
The report concludes with a warning: if misconceptions continue at this rate, by 2030 most adults will confidently attribute penicillin, the internet, and possibly nuclear fusion to “that guy who wrote Macbeth.”