DENVER, CO- Tim and Jennifer Hamilton thought they were doing the right thing. After years of struggling to find ways to expose their son Timmy Jr. to new cultures, they formulated a plan. They recorded nearly two weeks worth of Dora the Explorer episodes and put him in front of the TV expecting him to … Read more
SAN FRANCISCO, CA- A gentleman was seen buying flowers in a convenience store earlier today. When asked about the occasion by the cashier, the man simply replied: “They’re for Valentine’s Day, of course.” Dumbfounded, the clerk just watched as the man walked out of the store with the flowers and presumably into a pile of … Read more
GARLAND, TX- A new report from the Center of Canine Studies reconfirmed the long-held belief that dogs cannot talk. This is contrary to many accounts of pet owners. These owners report conversations – typically late night – with their pets on a range of topics. Authors of the study suggest that these false claims might … Read more
BOULDER, CO- For more than 80 years, American’s have misconstrued Franklin D. Roosevelt’s famous “we have nothing to fear but fear itself” as a literal recommendation. “Fear” once again topped this year’s list of things that American’s fear most. “Clowns suck and so does ISIS. But I agree that fear is the only thing we … Read more
WHITEFISH, MT- She always knew he had a secret. So, it came as no surprise when this Doe returned early from a trip to the river only to find her boyfriend getting romantic with Bigfoot. Not amused, she shut down his attempts to explain. Putting the three month courtship behind her, she left to find … Read more
LITTLE ROCK, AR- Initially she thought he was so funny with just the right line at the right moment. But then, Kathy realized her husband of nearly six years had been cheating the whole marriage. He was just referencing old jokes from Seinfeld. “If I had watched the show I just might have known but … Read more
PORTLAND, OR- Parental norms continue to shift and the number of stay-at-home dads appears to be on the rise. However, one man’s interpretation of the job has others rethinking the risks. “It was a fairly normal Tuesday. The sun was out, light wind from the southeast at about 6 miles per hour. Nothing too unusual,” … Read more
BOISE, ID — What began as a quiet spiritual tribute on a children’s toy has ended in tragedy, after a painstaking Etch A Sketch rendering of Jesus Christ was wiped out during ground shipping. The piece, titled “Knocking”, was the magnum opus of 34-year-old Devin Raskin, who spent 14 months recreating the iconic image of … Read more
In a quest to unravel the secrets of the bathroom universe, our intrepid explorers have stumbled upon a trove of urinal truths and bathroom etiquette… Rule #1: More Than Three Taps and You’re Playing with It. Yes, dear readers, it’s a little-known fact that the fourth tap will summon mystical forces, turning it into a … Read more
A rogue gang of cats has descended upon the streets of San Francisco, leaving chaos and confusion in their wake. These feline outlaws have had enough of being called “cute” and are determined to strike fear into the hearts of unsuspecting citizens. These fearless felines are no longer content with chasing laser pointers and napping … Read more
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