CHICAGO, IL- In the wake of yet another school shooting, President Trump called for arming some teachers. The intriguing idea has sparked a broader discussion. Who else should we be arming? To answer this question, our team has launched a multi-part investigative report.
Today's unwitting financial backer: Squatty Potty — you can open it if you want.
In the first part of our series, we consider the idea of weaponizing yoga instructors. Clearly their low-key and zen demeanor make them unsuspecting gun carriers. That is precisely why they make such good candidates for bearing arms.
“I just wanted to stretch a bit and let out my stress, but the gun definitely changed the vibe,” said one yogi. “Not really what I would have guessed, but if it makes us all safer, then I suppose it’s worth a try.”
Others raised a few concerns: “I really doubt my yoga instructor knows how to fire a weapon. She’s a pacifist and only weighs about 80 pounds. She’s very flexible, but still not sure that qualifies her to discharge a weapon.”
Today we have been authorized to sell you the "We Demand Your Silence" tee.
Time will tell who gets chosen for handouts if and when federal gun distribution centers are established. For now, the debate continues….